I don’t want his money – however as my working life has been suspended I am really aware that in the future some time Tom might need money! You know for Uni or something!

Ages and ages and ages ago I made a claim to the then child support agency who wrote to him.

 He ignored it so they made an assessment – he then didn’t ignore it (I think they assessed something like £45 a week). He claimed that was rediculous so sent in his income etc. 

Now I’m fairly certain that he didn’t declare it all – I say this as I know that he doesn’t declare it all to the tax man either ! So they made another assessment based on his figures -it was more! 

I never received a penny.

The service then changed to Child Maintenance -where you can opt for no support (sort it yourself) or some support or total support (I opted for this – they do all the leg work and take a %) 

So it started again and they heard nothing. That was two years ago. Then 3 weeks ago I received a text saying that they had received a child maintenance payment and would be sending it to me !! £150!!! OMG !! New tracksuit and trainers beckoned for Tommy !!

I called them to check it out and they had found his bank account which was full to brimming! So much so that they had assessed weekly payment to cover current payments and arrears – £150! 

The next week I received £15

Last week I received £0. He’s emptied his account. 

The previous payments now stand at £8000 owed too.

Strangely at about the same time some old friends of mine began receiving messages from him – asking them to get ‘the money I owed him £60,000’.

I’m sure some of you may have seen the connection in timing! 

But how can I possibly owe 60k? I wonder if he thinks that he was supposed to be getting paid a salary for being abusive? For not working? For spending my money? For using my credit cards? For leaving me with £40,000 worth of debts (which I have paid off entirely on my own!) So I wonder. .. 60k??

Perhaps I should ask for an itemised invoice !! We were married for 2 years -£30,000 per annum? 

But what about my payments then? If he wants 60k then what should I get? It was my house -he lived there for free. I worked, he played golf. I did the child care, so did relatives – he did the odd day. I bought the food, I paid the bills, I paid the mortgage. Do I also get to pay him too? 

For what?

For having an affair?

For being abusive and threatening?

For being a Narccissist?

For causing PTSD, anxiety and depression?

And what has he ever given us since leaving ?? Lies, ‘the taking’ physical abuse, the list is endless. 

And he thinks he deserves 60k – he deserves something.. but not that !