So I’m still rambling a bit – but I’d like to think that I’ve managed to move on and that the Twat no longer features in my everyday life.
The consequences of his treatment of myself and my family are still very real on a daily basis but we are all managing to move on rather than to blame or to hate or to weep.
But we all have associated illnesses that are still with us, and echos of which will be with us for the rest of our lives.
Every week something happens that effects one of us – and that in turn effect us all. A phone call to a friend, a ‘sighting’ due to PTSD, the feeling of being watched.
I am still on many domestic abuse sites – trying to support others if I can. And the one thing that continually strikes me is how long we suffer for. And how the abusers don’t!
They say they do – they can’t help themselves. They still need to know where we are and what we are doing. (My ex still seems to need to know my holiday plans although whenever he has, he has threatened to ruin them – but he is still asking – still!)
Many of the woman who suffer through this, constantly struggle with the idea that ‘he’ has moved on and that they can’t; that ‘he’ has found another partner/victim often leading to more children very quickly. That he is financially able to live his life whilst they pay debts, pay for their children, pay for court, pay for counselling, receiving no help. Sometimes having to move and leave friends and family and start again.
It isn’t fair. And nothing can console these woman. Eventually the change will come when the clouds drift away and the sun begins to shine on your face, then your heart then your soul. But it’s a long journey with many rain storms on the way, and hurricanes and tornadoes! But eventually we all notice a rainbow – a small one at first but slowly growing, the sky clearing, the rain drops sparkling and then the sun on our face, in our hearts and in our souls.